Those who spend all their time fighting and advocating for others often neglect themselves. Any kind of self care or self development can feel like self indulgence, an unnecessary luxury. Time for me less important than time for others.
“If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first four sharpening the saw”
This quote, wrongly attributed to Lincoln, is a reminder of how time spent sharpening the saw, sharpening the instrument, is invaluable in terms of getting things done. In much people related work our instrument is ourselves. Time spent on ourselves, on renewal, helps us to be more effective.
Spring Offer for human rights campaigners and Christian pioneers – 5 sessions of focus on sharpening the saw Continue reading →
I’ve had a few knock backs recently and am surprised how easy it is to slip down into self doubt. I was going along well, involved in some workshops for job clubs that I’m really excited about then BAM!
It can feel like it just came out of the blue. And then if I think a little and look back I can usually see a familiar pattern. Over committing, eating badly, not enough sleep and then something relatively minor can have a devastating effect.
Do you remember that Grange Hill song? Maybe not, maybe before your time!
The older I get the more important I think this is. Just say “No!” Saying No to the things (and people) that drain you, to the requests that burden you, to the emotional blackmail from your mother. (Just to clarify, not talking about my mother here).
Learning to say “No” is crucial for looking after yourself. And learning to say “No” is crucial for building self confidence. Failing to say “No” can damage your health, your marriage, your relationships, your career.
This is a light hearted look at 25 badass ways to say No from justinemusk.com (you might need to zoom to read them more closely).
Giving thanks right now for my orange bedroom curtains, made by my dear mother from shalwar kameez fabric from Birmingham’s Stratford Road. Thankful for fresh coffee and cake. And thankful for two texts from dear friends suggesting meeting up.
Thankful for my life right now. Thankful in the moment, in the present.
‘Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.’
Why are we so quick to beat ourselves up? To criticise ourselves, to judge ourselves, to tell ourselves off?
Why are we so eager to cut down on sleep, to take on extra responsibilities, to push ourselves into exhaustion?
I LOVE jumping in at the deep end and pushing past boundaries and self employment brought me so many! New challenges, new projects, new skills to learn. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Whipping myself to carry on and do even more.
I’m now over a year into the process of being and becoming an entrepreneur with my own practice. It’s been an interesting time. I expected running my own business to give me extra flexibility and control. I didn’t expect the process to be an opportunity for so much personal growth and challenge. Continue reading →
A little while back I wrote about putting myself under pressure. I wrote of using a clenched fist and an open palm to interrogate decisions. I’m telling myself I have to do something. Do I really have to?