Category Archives: self-care

sharpening saw

Spring Offer – sharpening the saw coaching

Those who spend all their time fighting and advocating for others often neglect themselves. Any kind of self care or self development can feel like self indulgence, an unnecessary luxury. Time for me less important than time for others.

“If I had six hours to chop down a tree, I’d spend the first four sharpening the saw”

This quote, wrongly attributed to Lincoln, is a reminder of how time spent sharpening the saw, sharpening the instrument, is invaluable in terms of getting things done. In much people related work our instrument is ourselves. Time spent on ourselves, on renewal, helps us to be more effective.

Spring Offer for human rights campaigners and Christian pioneers – 5 sessions of focus on sharpening the saw  Continue reading

silence and solitude

Silence and solitude

“The great of the earth are those who leave silence and solitude around themselves, their work and their life, and let it ripen of its own accord.”   – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

Silence and solitude. Silence and solitude.

Do we leave enough silence and solitude around ourselves? Continue reading

When your self confidence hits rock bottom and self nurture

I’ve had a few knock backs recently and am surprised how easy it is to slip down into self doubt. I was going along well, involved in some workshops for job clubs that I’m really excited about then BAM!

It can feel like it just came out of the blue. And then if I think a little and look back I can usually see a familiar pattern. Over committing, eating badly, not enough sleep and then something relatively minor can have a devastating effect.

Do you relate to this? Continue reading

25 ways to say No

Just say “No!”

Just say “No!”

Do you remember that Grange Hill song? Maybe not, maybe before your time!

The older I get the more important I think this is. Just say “No!” Saying No to the things (and people) that drain you, to the requests that burden you, to the emotional blackmail from your mother. (Just to clarify, not talking about my mother here).

Learning to say “No” is crucial for looking after yourself. And learning to say “No” is crucial for building self confidence. Failing to say “No” can damage your health, your marriage, your relationships, your career.

This is a light hearted look at 25 badass ways to say No from justinemusk.com (you might need to zoom to read them more closely).

25 ways to say No

25 ways to say No

25 ways to say No

25 ways to say No

Continue reading

Being thankful

Giving thanks right now for my orange bedroom curtains, made by my dear mother from shalwar kameez fabric from Birmingham’s Stratford Road. Thankful for fresh coffee and cake. And thankful for two texts from dear friends suggesting meeting up.

Thankful for my life right now. Thankful in the moment, in the present.

Continue reading

self compassion

Self compassion, the new self confidence?

‘Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?

That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.’

This is the beginning of a New York Times article on self compassion. Continue reading

Be gentle to yourself

Why are we so quick to beat ourselves up? To criticise ourselves, to judge ourselves, to tell ourselves off?

Why are we so eager to cut down on sleep, to take on extra responsibilities, to push ourselves into exhaustion?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAI LOVE jumping in at the deep end and pushing past boundaries and self employment brought me so many!  New challenges, new projects, new skills to learn. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Whipping myself to carry on and do even more.

Well, yes. Continue reading