I’ve had a few knock backs recently and am surprised how easy it is to slip down into self doubt. I was going along well, involved in some workshops for job clubs that I’m really excited about then BAM!
It can feel like it just came out of the blue. And then if I think a little and look back I can usually see a familiar pattern. Over committing, eating badly, not enough sleep and then something relatively minor can have a devastating effect.
Why are we so quick to beat ourselves up? To criticise ourselves, to judge ourselves, to tell ourselves off?
Why are we so eager to cut down on sleep, to take on extra responsibilities, to push ourselves into exhaustion?
I LOVE jumping in at the deep end and pushing past boundaries and self employment brought me so many! New challenges, new projects, new skills to learn. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Whipping myself to carry on and do even more.
I’m now over a year into the process of being and becoming an entrepreneur with my own practice. It’s been an interesting time. I expected running my own business to give me extra flexibility and control. I didn’t expect the process to be an opportunity for so much personal growth and challenge. Continue reading →
I am having a nightmare situation with a tooth. In order to avoid a large bill for root canal treatment, I changed dentist to attempt to get the work covered on the NHS. This then involved a referral to the dental hospital which got lost and then an appointment at the hospital with a promise of treatment which never transpired and… it’s been a catalogue of disasters. In the background I have failed to chase up the different dentists, secretly pleased to be postponing what I knew would be a lengthy and painful treatment. The net result is that I may have left it too late and might need to have the tooth removed. Quick and cheap, but affecting the way I chew for the rest of my life. Ouch!
I am writing this slightly under the influence of too much red wine in a local pub which looks a little like a Parisian boudoir…a boudoir with a specialty in Belgian beers and an abundance of sausage and mash. Can there be too many varieties of sausage and mash offered? And the obligatory very expensive crisps which are regrettably very good as well as very expensive so I can’t say I prefer Walkers as I don’t. Although I did refuse a leaving pub bag of chips (see previous post regarding desire to lose weight – doing well so far and don’t want an inebriated desire for carbohydrates to jeopardise days of good work).
So. Relaxation. It sounds a bit of a contradiction, but sometimes I think we need to work at it. Sometimes just lying on the couch and watching Big Brother (resisted it so far this summer) doesn’t cut it. We can retire to bed as stressed as when we first got in from work. Continue reading →
My coach has challenged me to set goals and publish here big goals for the next six months. Not just write them in my diary. Or, to rephrase – who do I want to be in six months time. How I wanted to develop as a person by Christmas. Who I wanted to grow into being.
I want to be more courageous. The biggest goal I can set myself here is to conquer my fear of heights and do something that proves it. This ought to be scary, but I’m actually feeling excited about this. It would mean I could see Everest – wow! Continue reading →
I have come back from an exhilarating yet exhausting weekend of training. Last night, I had a late night, ate unhealthily and woke early. Today I fitted in two appointments, Argos and the supermarket before I realised I still had not let myself recover from the weekend.