Tag Archives: self confidence

I reject the need to please

I reject the need.. to be liked, loved, respected, trusted, admired

My client wrote this beautiful piece after an epiphany and has kindly agreed I can share it with you.

I reject.

I reject the pressure to succeed in any conventional way,
I reject the arrogance that says I must stand out from the crowd,
I reject the doctrine that I must wear make up, dress well, stay young, slim and beautiful.
I reject the assertion that I should be happy.
I reject Facebook.
I reject my own pressures to be a good worker, student, friend, lover, daughter, hostess, person. Continue reading

Burned out? A new way of approaching work

Burned out? Under pressure? Charlie Hoehn felt the same.

“This pressure I felt to make it was such a burden–until I realized that no level of success was ever going to be enough. I would always be chasing the world outside of me. What was the point of working so hard if it wasn’t for my own happiness? The solution became very clear: stop doing work that doesn’t matter to you.”

When I tackle work with a sense of play

Charlie Hoehn realised that many of his work heroes tackled work with a sense of play.

“When I tackle work with a sense of play, my creativity and optimism soar. I fall in love with the process. My energy becomes contagious, and I’m able to create unique art with the people around me.” Continue reading

When your self confidence hits rock bottom and self nurture

I’ve had a few knock backs recently and am surprised how easy it is to slip down into self doubt. I was going along well, involved in some workshops for job clubs that I’m really excited about then BAM!

It can feel like it just came out of the blue. And then if I think a little and look back I can usually see a familiar pattern. Over committing, eating badly, not enough sleep and then something relatively minor can have a devastating effect.

Do you relate to this? Continue reading

25 ways to say No

Just say “No!”

Just say “No!”

Do you remember that Grange Hill song? Maybe not, maybe before your time!

The older I get the more important I think this is. Just say “No!” Saying No to the things (and people) that drain you, to the requests that burden you, to the emotional blackmail from your mother. (Just to clarify, not talking about my mother here).

Learning to say “No” is crucial for looking after yourself. And learning to say “No” is crucial for building self confidence. Failing to say “No” can damage your health, your marriage, your relationships, your career.

This is a light hearted look at 25 badass ways to say No from justinemusk.com (you might need to zoom to read them more closely).

25 ways to say No

25 ways to say No

25 ways to say No

25 ways to say No

Continue reading

The easiest thing to be in the world is you

The easiest thing to be in the world is you.

The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.

– Leo Buscaglia

What are your thoughts when you read this quotation?

I find myself arguing with ‘the easiest thing’. Continue reading

focus on your strengths

Concentrate on your strengths, not your weaknesses

focus on your strengthsI have been chatting to Red magazine about strengths or positive qualities. And how concentrating on our strengths increases self confidence.

Often schools and job appraisals focus on our weakest areas and where we need to improve, not on our strongest areas. Yet it’s often true that we would need to put in a significant effort to raise a weakness to a mediocre level. Whereas putting in the same effort to an area of strength can raise a strength to an expertise. Continue reading

I’m speaking at Greenbelt

I’m speaking at this year’s Greenbelt Festival.

If you’re at Greenbelt, come and join my Self Confidence for women workshop.

See you there!

UPDATE: I spoke at Greenbelt and 137 women explored self confidence and discussed how to say “No”. I’m in touch with a number of them and had some writeups. It was wonderful to discuss the difference between working out what others expect of us (particularly bosses and adult children) and what we actually want to give. What are our boundaries?

Facing fears – moving beyond your comfort zones

877976_55461491 rebel

Self confidence – what are the keys to self confidence? Those that have subscribed to my newsletter will have received two articles on the keys to self confidence.

To recap:

Firstly, knowing who you are, what are your strengths, what matters to you and what you want in life. Part of this is setting boundaries and being able and willing to say “no”.

Secondly, knowing where you are heading and setting goals in order to get there.

Facing fears is a necessary part of setting boundaries and also moving forward towards your goals. I’ve noticed a correlation in my willingness to move beyond my comfort zones and the speed at which I move forward.

I fear heights – so recently went abseiling. Continue reading

We don’t see things as they are; we see things as we are.

877976_55461491 rebel
‘We don’t see things as they are;
we see things as we are.’

~ Anais Nin

Wow, what a powerful quotation. If we want to change something, or change the way we see something, we need to change ourselves.

ACTION CHALLENGE:

Pick a situation that is challenging you right now. Don’t go for the biggest one just yet, perhaps a smaller challenge.

Secondly, imagine you are someone else. Perhaps a wise old woman, or a young rebel or a civil rights campaigner. Take a few minutes to imagine what it would be like to live as this person.

Thirdly, look at the challenge through that other person’s eyes. What do you notice? What becomes possible from this point of view? How does this affect your self confidence?What action do you want to take?

Let me know your thoughts on this below. Whose perspective will you choose?