‘Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.’
Why are we so quick to beat ourselves up? To criticise ourselves, to judge ourselves, to tell ourselves off?
Why are we so eager to cut down on sleep, to take on extra responsibilities, to push ourselves into exhaustion?
I LOVE jumping in at the deep end and pushing past boundaries and self employment brought me so many! New challenges, new projects, new skills to learn. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Whipping myself to carry on and do even more.
To achieve or not to achieve, that is the question.
I recently received a newsletter from my therapist friend Bonnie Miller, with article ‘The Happiness of Non-Achievement’. Now, if you were my client you’d know I encourage celebrating achievements. Writing a list of them even. A long list. Keeping it. Referring back to it.
I’m now over a year into the process of being and becoming an entrepreneur with my own practice. It’s been an interesting time. I expected running my own business to give me extra flexibility and control. I didn’t expect the process to be an opportunity for so much personal growth and challenge. Continue reading →
I am writing this slightly under the influence of too much red wine in a local pub which looks a little like a Parisian boudoir…a boudoir with a specialty in Belgian beers and an abundance of sausage and mash. Can there be too many varieties of sausage and mash offered? And the obligatory very expensive crisps which are regrettably very good as well as very expensive so I can’t say I prefer Walkers as I don’t. Although I did refuse a leaving pub bag of chips (see previous post regarding desire to lose weight – doing well so far and don’t want an inebriated desire for carbohydrates to jeopardise days of good work).
So. Relaxation. It sounds a bit of a contradiction, but sometimes I think we need to work at it. Sometimes just lying on the couch and watching Big Brother (resisted it so far this summer) doesn’t cut it. We can retire to bed as stressed as when we first got in from work. Continue reading →