Self confidence – what are the keys to self confidence? Those that have subscribed to my newsletter will have received two articles on the keys to self confidence.
Firstly, knowing who you are, what are your strengths, what matters to you and what you want in life. Part of this is setting boundaries and being able and willing to say “no”.
Secondly, knowing where you are heading and setting goals in order to get there.
Facing fears is a necessary part of setting boundaries and also moving forward towards your goals. I’ve noticed a correlation in my willingness to move beyond my comfort zones and the speed at which I move forward.
I fear heights – so recently went abseiling. I wanted to stretch myself. We started with a short rock, maybe 10 foot tall, then a bigger one then a bigger one still. Part of abseiling is leaning back over the edge of the rock to the point of being almost horizontal, then walking back down. I found it was better just to do it and not spend too much dreading the experience. Face the fear and then get walking. I can’t honestly say I enjoyed the abseiling. And yet I achieved something I had thought impossible.
There was something about those abseils which showed me I could face other fears. I can do more than I realise.
And feeling scared doesn’t mean that I have to stop. It is possible to move on whilst being scared.
So that movement out of mycomfort zone of staying away from heights showed me that I can move out of other comfort zones, that I can do more than I think or feel is possible. I now know that if my life depended on it, I could abseil.
Just suceeding in doing something scary is good for my self confidence. It gives me a sense of achievement. There’s evidence to show that doing new things, even if it’s just trying a new sandwich shop at lunchtime, is good for self confidence. Stretching oneself.
In the next few months I have been asked to give a series of workshops on leadership to some young people in Birmingham. That will represent a stretch, doing something slightly scary. I am more able to do this because I have chosen other stretches.
So, as the new year of 2010 starts, what fears do you want to face? How can you move out of your comfort zones?
A little stretach – Try something new this month. A new sport, a new activity, a meeting up with a new acquaintance. Not necessarily something scary, just a gentle move in a new direction.
Or a bigger step. What would you do if you were not afraid? How would taking a risk right now move you forward?
Comment below, I’d love to hear your thoughts.
© Rosalyn Clare
Offer: To celebrate my accreditation – I’m now a certified professional coactive coach (hurrah!) – I’m offering a reduced price session to get you to face your fears and move forward towards your goals.This offer is for the first 10 people to email me and apply. Price only £20 (normally £75)