Endings

endings Rosalyn clare coach

A coaching relationship has come to an end. Well, two actually. My own life coach and one of my life coaching clients.

My coach and I took time to acknowledge one another’s strengths and good qualities. And acknowledge the changes over the time we have worked together. It was a life affirming conversation.

There’s a mixture of sadness and joy. That beautiful word ‘bittersweet’.

In past romantic relationships I have worked hard at having a ‘good ending’. Taking time to say thank you for the good times. And a chance to make the other person feel better about themselves. I’ve never wanted those occasions to be an opportunity to say everything you hate about the other person. It’s an opportunity for closure and I benefit as much as the other person from ending it well.

And there are the things that I might not say out loud but I will ponder over:

What have I learned from this relationship? What has been good? What will I do differently next time?

Sometimes life can’t be tied up in a pretty bow. Sometimes endings get forced upon us and they are ugly. And often there is the chance for reflection and learning amongst the shock.

Every ending contains within it the possibility for beginnings. A new start. New growth. The familiar adage of as one door closes a window opens.

This week I want to encourage you to think about endings in your life. Leaving school, university, jobs, romantic and platonic relationships. How do you like to end? With a bang? A whimper? Politely? Are there familiar patterns?

ACTION CHALLENGE: What comes to mind with this topic? Think about a particular ending in your life, recent or in the past.

What can you be thankful for? What did you learn? What do you need to say sorry for? What do you need to forgive? What did you leave unsaid? This could be an opportunity to have a conversation with another, or more likely an opportunity for you to write a letter which you never send. A chance to get feelings down on paper.

When you need closure it can be helpful to do something physical to demonstrate this. Perhaps burning the letter you wrote, or washing your hands as you think of saying goodbye.

Lastly, if this ending represents a door closing, can you see a window that has opened?

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