~ Anais Nin

Wow, what a powerful quotation. If we want to change something, or change the way we see something, we need to change ourselves.

ACTION CHALLENGE:

Pick a situation that is challenging you right now. Don’t go for the biggest one just yet, perhaps a smaller challenge.

Secondly, imagine you are someone else. Perhaps a wise old woman, or a young rebel or a civil rights campaigner. Take a few minutes to imagine what it would be like to live as this person.

Thirdly, look at the challenge through that other person’s eyes. What do you notice? What becomes possible from this point of view? How does this affect your self confidence?What action do you want to take?

Let me know your thoughts on this below. Whose perspective will you choose?

If I had turned up for the April event, I would have been training since February. I would now be fitter. I might not have run the whole 10K run in April, maybe I would have walked some of the route. Yet, given that my goal is to get fit, or fitter, rather than have an impressive time for the event, that wouldn’t have mattered.

I don’t think of myself as perfectionist, yet my desire to make a ‘proper’ go of the event got in the way of my real goal – to get fit.

The same force is at work with my newsletter. Having gained a number of new subscribers I started to tell myself that this edition needed to be ultra professional, a singing and dancing version of my newsletter. This has meant I haven’t produced a newsletter in nearly four months, putting myself under pressure. And actually my goal is to connect with my readers and share something that be of assistance, rather than be super impressive. My desire to do a great job actually got in the way of my real goals.

I see this with clients who want to make career changes. Sometimes they can be paralysed for years, waiting for the perfect solution to come along. Sometimes a step forward – even if in the wrong direction – is what’s needed to get things moving.

A question for you – what are you delaying because you want to ‘get it right’? Is there an area of your life where you are waiting to have all the answers before you get moving? What is most important in this situation?

Action challenge: I challenge you to take a step forward, without all the answers.To do something rather than nothing.

And if that thought makes you seize up with fear, get in touch for some support in moving forward and making changes.

Let me know by commenting below how this applies to you.

I wrote about something similar a year ago on changing perspective.

So, how about giving it a go?

ACTION CHALLENGE: Pick an area in your life in which you feel stuck. Get a new page in your notebook or PDA and list the characteristics of your current perspective. How do you think and feel about this problems right now? Now as you look at what you have written, do you like this perspective? Do you want a change?

Then either use the ‘Unsticker’ tool or choose another perspective. I invite you to try standing up and physically moving to another point in the room, then looking at the situation from this new perspective. Perhaps – what would a child say about this problem? Or if this problem were a item of clothing what would it be? Ask yourself – what is possible?

If you find yourself going back to the thoughts and feelings of the first stuck perspective gently bring yourself back to the new again. Then repeat with another perspective and another physical move. The physical move is a trick to help your brain to think that something new is about to happen and be more welcoming to new thoughts. Try as many times as it takes for you to see your problem in a new way with a clearer way forward.

How did you find that? Post your comments and experiences below.

For example, if my perspective on someone, lets say Miss T, is that she is a bully or that Mr F is lazy, I will be looking out for behaviour that justifies my perspective. It is not ‘fact’ that Miss T is a bully. It is not ‘fact’ that Mr F is lazy. The reality is that I have interpreted their words or behaviour in that way. I become unable to see the times that Miss T is gentle with others or Mr F works hard. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. And my behaviour is then linked to that perspective too.

It is challenging to look at perspectives and ask if they work for us. Some perspectives work well for me. The perspective that most people are friendly, or trustworthy enables me to make new relationships easier. The perspective that travel is exciting helps me to cope when things go wrong abroad!

But there are perspectives that make life harder for me and stop me seeing hope and potential. It can be profitable to try different perspectives. A perspective that “I don’t like change”, for example.

This week I allowed myself to view a situation from a different perspective. I chose to look at it from a ‘sparkly sunshine’ perspective. [for those of you turned off by Californian hippy chick speak bear with me!]

This switched my thinking around and I became able to look at the situation and the people concerned from a positive viewpoint rather than negative, thought about unity rather than division.

If looking at something from a sparkly sunshine perspective does not work for you, how about the perspective of a child? What would the child think about this person, or this situation? Or a wise woman? Or a Formula One sportscar? Or a flower? Anything which forces your mind away from its well-trodden ruts into new creative thinking. Warning – it might not be comfortable!

ACTION CHALLENGE: Pick an area in your life in which you feel stuck. Get a new page in your notebook or PDA and list the characteristics of your current perspective. Do you like this perspective? Do you want to change? Then pick another perspective. I invite you to try standing up and physically moving to another point in the room, then looking at the situation from this new perspective. Ask yourself – what is possible? If you find yourself going back to the stuck perspective gently bring yourself back to the new again. Then repeat with another perspective and another physical move.

What is possible?

If you would like help looking at an area of your life which is stuck, drop me a line.

And use the comments box below to share your experiences.