Self Confidence for Women

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language.

And next year’s words await another voice.

And to make an end is to
make a beginning. ~T.S. Eliot

I want to share this John O’Donoghue poem with you. For all those stepping into new places…

For a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge. [Read more →]

Do you hear a little voice telling you that you’re not [...] enough or that you’re not [...] enough?

CREDIT: "I am enough" necklace - available from http://t.co/PcZXdSE

Ever considered that it is a  lie?

What if you ARE enough?

I’ve been thinking about this recently. I’ve been out of my comfort zone, training others in coaching skills. It represented a challenge to me, a big challenge and there were points when I was really very scared. I was worried that I wasn’t enough of an experienced trainer, or hadn’t done enough preparation or that I wasn’t flexible enough and even that I wasn’t nice enough. Funnily enough, none of that worrying had a positive impact on my training.

The turning point for me was realising that my best asset in that training room was myself. I decided I wanted to be vulnerable and yet also have authority. For me that meant apologising when I got things wrong and being willing to demonstrate in front of the room – being vulnerable. It also meant being tenacious and challenging in order to get the best from the participants – having authority. Those of you who know me will know that those two things are a large part of my personality. I showed up as me and let go of worrying if they liked me.

It was a huge relief. That training day wasn’t perfect and yet it was powerful and a lot more fun.

This video is a reminder of the power of vulnerability and authenticity. And also a reminder that you are enough.

Here’s a link in case the embedded video doesn’t work:

http://www.ted.com/talks/brene_brown_on_vulnerability.html?awesm=on.ted.com_8s5P

Take some time to watch the video and ask yourself that question – What if you ARE enough? What becomes possible?

I’d love to hear your thoughts, please do comment below.

Happy Christmas! Here’s a short video of a
‘digital nativity’ for all you social media fans. Rosalyn

When no is truly better for you
it’s better for everyone else.

~ Kim Allen

So now what?

I’ve realised I lack self confidence, so now what?

Clients (and strangers) ask me this. I wonder if they hope that I have a pink pill, or even a hypodermic syringe. Some magic and instant solution. [Read more →]

To achieve or not to achieve, that is the question.

I recently received a newsletter from my therapist friend Bonnie Miller, with article ‘The Happiness of Non-Achievement’. Now, if you were my client you’d know I encourage celebrating achievements. Writing a list of them even. A long list. Keeping it. Referring back to it.

And here is Bonnie celebrating non-achievement. [Read more →]

I’ve been working with Striding Out and some inspiring young people recently – here’s a video about it.

http://youtu.be/sdMRA0JPqsk

Contact me if you’d like to know more about the work I’m doing with Striding Out.

I’m speaking at this year’s Greenbelt Festival.

If you’re at Greenbelt, come and join my Self Confidence for women workshop.

See you there!

UPDATE: I spoke at Greenbelt and 137 women explored self confidence and discussed how to say “No”. I’m in touch with a number of them. It was wonderful to discuss the difference between working out what others expect of us (particularly bosses and adult children) and what we actually want to give. What are our boundaries?

Success is not a destination,
it’s a journey.

~ John Wooden

I’m involved with Striding Out, provider of coaching services including youth leadership coaching, career coaching and business coaching.

We’re offering no cost career coaching for unemployed professionals via Job Centre Plus.

More details below.

I recently wrote about facing fears. How often do we tell ourselves we can do nothing?

This girl addressed the UN about the environment… [Read more →]

Know your Top 3 Goals

Take the free 5 minute ‘Discover Your Goals’ quiz and get your customised Goals Report here:
http://www.FreeGoalsReport.com/quiz

Use this to establish your priorities for the next six months. The quiz is short and helpful.

ACTION CHALLENGE: Download the quiz and get thinking about your goals.

Self confidence – what are the keys to self confidence? Those that have subscribed to my newsletter will have received two articles on the keys to self confidence.

To recap:

Firstly, knowing who you are, what are your strengths, what matters to you and what you want in life. Part of this is setting boundaries and being able and willing to say “no”.

Secondly, knowing where you are heading and setting goals in order to get there.

Facing fears is a necessary part of setting boundaries and also moving forward towards your goals. I’ve noticed a correlation in my willingness to move beyond my comfort zones and the speed at which I move forward.

I fear heights – so recently went abseiling. [Read more →]

Wishing you a wonderful Christmas and a 2010 filled with joy and surprises.

Rosalyn

Honesty does not always bring a response of love,
but it is absolutely essential to it.

~ Ray Blanton

‘We don’t see things as they are;
we see things as we are.’

~ Anais Nin

Wow, what a powerful quotation. If we want to change something, or change the way we see something, we need to change ourselves.

ACTION CHALLENGE:

Pick a situation that is challenging you right now. Don’t go for the biggest one just yet, perhaps a smaller challenge.

Secondly, imagine you are someone else. Perhaps a wise old woman, or a young rebel or a civil rights campaigner. Take a few minutes to imagine what it would be like to live as this person.

Thirdly, look at the challenge through that other person’s eyes. What do you notice? What becomes possible from this point of view? How does this affect your self confidence?What action do you want to take?

Let me know your thoughts on this below. Whose perspective will you choose?

Lack of self confidence delayed almost half who escaped corporate rat race – result of survey [Read more →]

Biggest challenge to professional women is self confidence, feeling an impostor in their role – result of my interviews

I interviewed about 30 women about the challenges they face in their work in corporate roles and also in their personal lives. [Read more →]

Great article from Kristi Hedges. Here’s an excerpt:

‘Give it to women straight. When Heath goes in to provide a leadership development program, she first delivers personalized feedback to the participants. The all-too-common response is: “I’ve never heard that.” The corporate culture in most companies doesn’t provide a consistent process for feedback. And women pay the price. According to Heath, feedback is akin to a GPS system that allows women leaders to modify their behavior. Heath has conducted surveys at organizations including law firms and banks, where male executives frequently say they dislike providing feedback to women because women expect lengthy explanations and can react emotionally. The men often elected to forgo the feedback.’

Rest of the article here:

http://www.womenentrepreneur.com/2009/08/create-leaders-without-breaking-the-bank.html

Let me know your thoughts. How does your company develop women?