What does this mean? This Youtube clip shows the results of one young woman’s gap year trip and where she ended up. As a result, she says, of following the prompting of her heart.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s2STnO01zGw

Have you watched it yet?

Her babysitting money!

I can’t help wondering what would happen if we all followed our hearts. What would the impact be on our families, our towns, our country, our world? To be honest, it’s too momentuous even to imagine. I get stuck even imagining what might happen if I followed my own heart…

There are so many voices clamouring for our attention. Voices from advertising saying we need the latest car, moisturiser, handbag. The news programmes with messages of fear and tragedy. Memories of voices from our childhood with messages about who we are. Opinions from friends and families, helpful and unhelpful. That ‘gremlin’ voice which tells us we should or shouldn’t or ought.

It can be difficult to tune out the other voices in order to hear our own.

What is your vision, your dream? What do you want? What do you believe? What would make you happy? Do you have a purpose? And in this moment, what is your heart telling you?

Instead of grandiose goals for 2009, I want you to think small, think doable. This New Year, I want to encourage you to start listening to that still small voice. And start to follow some of its promptings. Learn to distinguish between the other voices and the voice of your heart.

Listen to your heart’s prompting about your job and your career. Is your heart linked to what you do? I remember watching the film JFK and coming out of the cinema with a profound conviction that I was in the wrong line of work. I ignored that impulse for many years to come. I’m sure that that time was fruitful and have no wish for regrets. And yet wonder what my life would have been if I had always listened to my heart. If you listened to your heart who would you be?

ACTION CHALLENGE: For a set period, perhaps a few days or a week, make a conscious decision to listen to your heart. Have a structure to remind you, an alarm on your computer or PDA or phone. Then regularly take a few deep breaths and listen.

And if you want some help in following your heart, get in touch. I’d love to support you in that process.

When I first started I was so excited that I would stay up late at night working on my website. Googling business articles and reading everything. Being able to use my laptop in bed is a mixed blessing!

From being a social butterfly who was rarely in, I became ‘too busy’ to see friends and couldn’t spare a weekend to see my family. My regular swimming routine became irregular and I succumbed more and more to the lure of fast food… Yet (strangely?) I had time to volunteer with Leaps and Bounds, an exciting project with young people.

I discovered that I wasn’t invincible. I made mistakes – as expected – and lacked the stamina to pick myself up again. There was a turning point when my friend Tina got me to admit I needed to cut down.

I realise that I cannot ignore my need for rest and relaxation. I cannot ignore my fitness and health. Those two neglected areas of the wheel of life. Without self care I lack the strength and stamina to make changes in the rest of my life.

It’s still early days. Having realised that self-care needs to be the spine that holds the rest of my story together, I want to design that spine.

I know many of you will be further down the line with this one. Share your ideas in the comment field.

My thoughts so far – 7 new habits:

1. Enough sleep each night – for me 8 hours
2. Fresh food – without ingredients that end in -ate and cannot be pronounced – and 2 litres of water a day
3. Regular exercise
4. Daily spiritual practice – prayer/meditation/yoga
5. Boundaries around work time and play time – not doing work in front of the TV and set times for stopping
6. Regular relaxation treatments – massage, reflexology
7. Time with people who build me up and do not drain me

ACTION CHALLENGE: Are you working too much? Is work depleting your confidence and energy? Print off my 7 habits or design your own. Make a decision that you want to treat yourself better in 2008.

Are you treating yourself according to your own rules?

I’m indebted to Kerri Yates for this – who sends me questions that can change lives… www.eudokeo.com

It’s been a bit of a shock. I’ve talked to clients about taking care of themselves and having a balanced life. And need to continue to talk to myself about this too. I’ve had such a great year I’ve fooled myself I’m invincible.

It’s a reminder to look at my life and where I’m concentrating my time and energy. I’ve gone back to the wheel of life, that foundational life coaching exercise and seen that though I’m much more satisfied with my career, the energy that I’ve put into career has meant that two key areas relaxation and my friendships have been neglected. (If you want to look at the wheel of life for yourself, I’ll send you a copy if you email my newsletter programme on rclare@aweber.com).

I took some time out. Spent time with family and friends. Read a good book. And watched some rubbish TV. Said “no” to working in the evenings and “yes” to sleep, baths and (several) glasses of red wine with friends.

Possibly the most important thing I did was prioritise a couple of relaxation treatments. I’ve been seeing Stuart for reflexology for years. And recently met Alison Clamp and Rosemary Gordon (invest in your health), both holistic therapists based in Birmingham. We all believe that it is vital to look after your health, particularly if you are making changes in other areas of your life or suffering from stress. I also learnt some breathing exercises – more on those another time.

ACTION CHALLENGE: Is your life in balance? Are you trying to burn the candle at both ends?

Make time to stop and stand back and look at the elements of your life? Have a look at the wheel of life and see where you want to devote more time and energy. And ask yourself what can you say “no”to.

I’m not advocating guilt tripping yourself into longer hours and doing even more. Something might have to go, even if just temporarily. Delegate more or make other changes to re-do your time usage.

And say “yes” to looking after your health. Visit your GP if there an ailment you are ignoring. Make time for a relaxation treatment. Look at your diet and exercise regime. And rebalance.

Use the comments box below to share your thoughts.

Sometimes I get caught up in the urgent and leave the important. The most important thing must be our health, including our mental health. It’s important to take care of our bodies, minds and spirits. When we have done that we have the physical, mental and spiritual energy to care for others. It can be so easy to procrastinate, can’t it? Leaving things until they become BIG tasks, instead of little ones. Like sorting out finances – failure to pay bills resulting in penalties and interest payment.

I’m not going to beat myself up. I have tackled and finished what was an outrageously long list of DIY tasks. I have started my tax return early. And dealt with two other tasks which I had been delaying for literally years.

ACTION CHALLENGE: Make a list of the important stuff that you’re putting off. Or a list of slightly less important but with BIG consequences if delayed. Or a list you’ve been putting off for AGES and wince whenever you think of it.

Pick the issue which has come up in your mind and if it is quick then do it now, pick up the phone or whatever. Otherwise, timetable when you can do it. A trick I have used in the past is to meet with a friend who also procrastinates the odd thing,have an evening together and both tackle a task we’ve been avoiding. It turns a chore into a pleasant social event.

So. Relaxation. It sounds a bit of a contradiction, but sometimes I think we need to work at it. Sometimes just lying on the couch and watching Big Brother (resisted it so far this summer) doesn’t cut it. We can retire to bed as stressed as when we first got in from work.

I read a great quotation about living in the moment. It suggested asking ourselves “what do I want to take away from this moment?”

I was walking this morning and asked myself that question. The sun was shining – yeah, we do have sun in the UK sometimes – and there was a soft breeze. I walked past front gardens with spiky plants or roses or overgrown grass. And great trees. And a canal or a river where the water moved so slowly it was almost still. I tried very hard to stop planning, thinking about my goals, that evening, what I was going to do next, the next meal, the next phone call…. And think about now.

There is something glorious, almost decadent about allowing time to slow down almost to a standstill, just to this moment. About telling our other distractions to wait, just for a while. About a concentration on the now. I am tempted to throw in a metaphysical quotation about the sound of one hand clapping (one of my late father’s favourite) but I won’t.
So – try it.

Meditation, prayer, being still…Concentrating hard on an activity so we are lost in it, lost in the flow… Being creative with cooking, gardening, art, ideas…These are other ways of working at relaxation.

ACTION CHALLENGE: Questions for you to ponder -

How do you relax? When do you relax? What works best for you? If you had to rate this area of your life out of 10, how satisfied are you? Is this important to you?

Let me know your answers.

So, here goes, Chris (www.coachchris.com) -

1. I want to be more courageous. The biggest goal I can set myself here is to conquer my fear of heights and do something that proves it. This ought to be scary, but I’m actually feeling excited about this. It would mean I could see Everest – wow!
2. I want to be a leader. This is already true, but I want to move further along this path. Perhaps the best goal I can set is business related. I would like six more clients and to have a clearer business plan in action by Christmas. And to have run a workshop for women.
3. I want to be healthy. My goal will be to lose a stone by Christmas, by eating healthily, rather than my usual hurried snacking. Moving towards those five daily portions of fruit and vegetables.
4. I want to sort out my garden. OK, that’s not about who I want to become. Although it will be expressing creativity and creating a beautiful space to relax, which are about growth. My goal is to lose most of my lawn (a sorry affair) and plant tropical-looking flower beds in the ground reclaimed. (Recommendations for plants that appear tropical but are hardy and like the shade will be gratefully received). And this is also about bringing Cuba to Birmingham.

I will keep you posted!

And how about you? Who do you want to become in the next six months? Or what do you want to do or achieve? Are they big enough goals? Not just one little step onwards, but a real stretch? Do they excite you? Let me know. And maybe let a few others know – there’s nothing like publishing goals to keep you accountable to them!

Why am I so slow to look after myself? Why is it easier to reach for junk food than food which nourishes my mind and body?

I love mangoes, but end up with refined carbohydrates…

I know that there are things I need to do which are about looking after me:

• enough sleep
• plenty of fruit and vegetables, preferably raw
• exercise once or twice a week
• Omega 3 supplements (I use Udo’s Choice)
• less white pasta, bread, rice and more wholewheat and whole grains
• monthly relaxation treatment such as reflexology or massage
• a schedule that allows for rest and relaxation.

If you are in the business of changing your life, it requires real effort. Effort that can sap your mind and emotions unless you look after yourself. Bodily imbalance can and does lead to emotional and mental imbalance.

ACTION CHALLENGE: What do you need to do to look after yourself well? What one thing could you do this week which is about looking after yourself? Make a note on your mobile phone or PDA or in your diary and make sure you do it. Let me know too!