Today I worked with a client who was scared. She was scared to admit what she wanted to do next with her life.
She and I had been working through the Firework career coaching process I use. She was comfortable at the early stages, identifying strengths, thinking about interests and skills. And then, as we were narrowing down ideas, designing career spectrums, she got stuck. This beautiful, creative woman was unable to think, her mind went blank. She was so scared of taking the next step her mind had seized up.
It made sense. It was a big moment. We used a tool for lifting fear that I have been sharing with clients, a simple breathing tool that is gentle yet effective. This released her to think creatively again.
I posted this article back in 2008. At that time, there was great uncertainty about the economic climate. Not much has changed. I think maybe we have got used to uncertainty. The gap between the haves and the have-nots seems to have increased. Those who are working often feel they ‘should’ be grateful, they ‘should’ be happy. Yet they often are not happy.
Companies have cut the workforce so fewer employees are doing more work. And expected not to grumble. With less time with children, more ready meals, less time enjoying friends, more stress-related illness – many are asking is this job worth it?
I’m reposting this article for those who are asking if they are happy in their job. For those who already know the answer is “No”, fill in the form to contact me and let’s chat about working out what would really float your boat. Continue reading →
I’ve had a few knock backs recently and am surprised how easy it is to slip down into self doubt. I was going along well, involved in some workshops for job clubs that I’m really excited about then BAM!
It can feel like it just came out of the blue. And then if I think a little and look back I can usually see a familiar pattern. Over committing, eating badly, not enough sleep and then something relatively minor can have a devastating effect.
Do you remember that Grange Hill song? Maybe not, maybe before your time!
The older I get the more important I think this is. Just say “No!” Saying No to the things (and people) that drain you, to the requests that burden you, to the emotional blackmail from your mother. (Just to clarify, not talking about my mother here).
Learning to say “No” is crucial for looking after yourself. And learning to say “No” is crucial for building self confidence. Failing to say “No” can damage your health, your marriage, your relationships, your career.
This is a light hearted look at 25 badass ways to say No from justinemusk.com (you might need to zoom to read them more closely).
Giving thanks right now for my orange bedroom curtains, made by my dear mother from shalwar kameez fabric from Birmingham’s Stratford Road. Thankful for fresh coffee and cake. And thankful for two texts from dear friends suggesting meeting up.
Thankful for my life right now. Thankful in the moment, in the present.
‘Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.’
‘resurrection says that what we do with our lives matters in this body the one that we inhabit right now every act of compassion matters every work of art that celebrates the good and the true matters every fair and honest act of business and trade every kind word they all belong and they will all go on in God’s good world nothing will be forgotten nothing will be wasted it all has it’s place’
This is an extract from Resurrection by Rob Bell, whole poem below. I love that line ‘what we do with our lives matters’.
Why are we so quick to beat ourselves up? To criticise ourselves, to judge ourselves, to tell ourselves off?
Why are we so eager to cut down on sleep, to take on extra responsibilities, to push ourselves into exhaustion?
I LOVE jumping in at the deep end and pushing past boundaries and self employment brought me so many! New challenges, new projects, new skills to learn. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Whipping myself to carry on and do even more.
I have been chatting to Red magazine about strengths or positive qualities. And how concentrating on our strengths increases self confidence.
Often schools and job appraisals focus on our weakest areas and where we need to improve, not on our strongest areas. Yet it’s often true that we would need to put in a significant effort to raise a weakness to a mediocre level. Whereas putting in the same effort to an area of strength can raise a strength to an expertise. Continue reading →
I’ve been inspired to offer something to fund raise for a 18 year old girl Danielle and her gap year volunteering. I am offering coaching sessions to those who make a charitable donation to Danielle’s fundraising for her trip to Chile. Continue reading →