I’m taking 5 minutes to help break the stigma around mental illness, as part of the Time to Change ?#?take5? day. So I’m writing something quite personal today.
I’ve suffered from 3 episodes of depression, the most recent of which left me mainly just lying in bed achieving little apart from watching 7 seasons of Grey’s Anatomy. All were caused by too many life changes at once and pushing myself too hard. I am fortunate that a mixture of counselling, alternative therapy and medication meant I recovered. My friends without exception accepted me.
This is quite a big deal to post. However, I think it’s important we know that mental illness happens to 1 in 4 of those around us, even (especially?) the ‘strong’ personalities.
Career bliss – the intersection of what you do well, what you love, what the world will pay for & what the world needs.
Work with me to delve deeper into discovering what you love and putting it all together. My 10 step career coaching package will take you from a blank sheet of paper to a written action plan. Contact me to schedule a consultation.
“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
Maya Angelou speaks such wisdom here. Pursuing the things you love doing.
I have noticed with many clients that they spend so much time pleasing everyone else that they almost don’t know what they love doing. They have lost touch with themselves. That is why our first discovery session is so important – time to explore what really matters to them. This is foundational for all the work we then do, be it career-focused or life-focused.
Over to you
What are you pursuing? What are your thoughts on this? Leave your thoughts below.
I’ve just read the advice Mike Rowe (Discovery Channel) gave to someone who wanted a career that would always keep him happy. And change and excitement and steady pay.
Mike told him:
‘Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job. Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.
Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.’
My client wrote this beautiful piece after an epiphany and has kindly agreed I can share it with you.
I reject the pressure to succeed in any conventional way, I reject the arrogance that says I must stand out from the crowd, I reject the doctrine that I must wear make up, dress well, stay young, slim and beautiful. I reject the assertion that I should be happy. I reject Facebook. I reject my own pressures to be a good worker, student, friend, lover, daughter, hostess, person.Continue reading →
Burned out? Under pressure? Charlie Hoehn felt the same.
“This pressure I felt to make it was such a burden–until I realized that no level of success was ever going to be enough. I would always be chasing the world outside of me. What was the point of working so hard if it wasn’t for my own happiness? The solution became very clear: stop doing work that doesn’t matter to you.”
When I tackle work with a sense of play
Charlie Hoehn realised that many of his work heroes tackled work with a sense of play.
“When I tackle work with a sense of play, my creativity and optimism soar. I fall in love with the process. My energy becomes contagious, and I’m able to create unique art with the people around me.” Continue reading →
Today I worked with a client who was scared. She was scared to admit what she wanted to do next with her life.
She and I had been working through the Firework career coaching process I use. She was comfortable at the early stages, identifying strengths, thinking about interests and skills. And then, as we were narrowing down ideas, designing career spectrums, she got stuck. This beautiful, creative woman was unable to think, her mind went blank. She was so scared of taking the next step her mind had seized up.
It made sense. It was a big moment. We used a tool for lifting fear that I have been sharing with clients, a simple breathing tool that is gentle yet effective. This released her to think creatively again.
I posted this article back in 2008. At that time, there was great uncertainty about the economic climate. Not much has changed. I think maybe we have got used to uncertainty. The gap between the haves and the have-nots seems to have increased. Those who are working often feel they ‘should’ be grateful, they ‘should’ be happy. Yet they often are not happy.
Companies have cut the workforce so fewer employees are doing more work. And expected not to grumble. With less time with children, more ready meals, less time enjoying friends, more stress-related illness – many are asking is this job worth it?
I’m reposting this article for those who are asking if they are happy in their job. For those who already know the answer is “No”, fill in the form to contact me and let’s chat about working out what would really float your boat. Continue reading →
I’ve had a few knock backs recently and am surprised how easy it is to slip down into self doubt. I was going along well, involved in some workshops for job clubs that I’m really excited about then BAM!
It can feel like it just came out of the blue. And then if I think a little and look back I can usually see a familiar pattern. Over committing, eating badly, not enough sleep and then something relatively minor can have a devastating effect.
Do you remember that Grange Hill song? Maybe not, maybe before your time!
The older I get the more important I think this is. Just say “No!” Saying No to the things (and people) that drain you, to the requests that burden you, to the emotional blackmail from your mother. (Just to clarify, not talking about my mother here).
Learning to say “No” is crucial for looking after yourself. And learning to say “No” is crucial for building self confidence. Failing to say “No” can damage your health, your marriage, your relationships, your career.
This is a light hearted look at 25 badass ways to say No from justinemusk.com (you might need to zoom to read them more closely).
Giving thanks right now for my orange bedroom curtains, made by my dear mother from shalwar kameez fabric from Birmingham’s Stratford Road. Thankful for fresh coffee and cake. And thankful for two texts from dear friends suggesting meeting up.
Thankful for my life right now. Thankful in the moment, in the present.
‘Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.’
‘resurrection says that what we do with our lives matters in this body the one that we inhabit right now every act of compassion matters every work of art that celebrates the good and the true matters every fair and honest act of business and trade every kind word they all belong and they will all go on in God’s good world nothing will be forgotten nothing will be wasted it all has it’s place’
This is an extract from Resurrection by Rob Bell, whole poem below. I love that line ‘what we do with our lives matters’.