Self Confidence for Women

Giving thanks right now for my orange bedroom curtains, made my my dear mother from shalwar kameez fabric from Birmingham’s Stratford Road. Thankful for fresh coffee and cake. And thankful for two texts from dear friends suggesting meeting up.

Thankful for my life right now. Thankful in the moment, in the present.

My life has changed a lot in the last couple of months. [Read more →]

‘Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?

That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.’

This is the beginning of a New York Times article on self compassion. It isn’t the same as self confidence – and some would say more important. The article goes on to recommend reassuring yourself rather than telling yourself off. The reassurance helps motivation.

It backs up my mantra to clients to be gentle to themselves. Often high achievers won’t celebrate their success but would rather focus on the negative.

A question to ponder – How can you be kind to yourself today?

Read the full article here

http://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2011/02/28/go-easy-on-yourself-a-new-wave-of-research-urges/

‘resurrection says that what we do with our lives matters
in this body
the one that we inhabit right now
every act of compassion matters
every work of art that celebrates the good and the true matters
every fair and honest act of business and trade
every kind word
they all belong and they will all go on in God’s good world
nothing will be forgotten
nothing will be wasted
it all has it’s place’

This is an extract from Resurrection by Rob Bell, whole poem below.  I love that line ‘what we do with our lives matters’.

[Read more →]

The easiest thing to be in the world is you.

The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.

- Leo Buscaglia

What are your thoughts when you read this quotation?

I find myself arguing with ‘the easiest thing’. [Read more →]

Why are we so quick to beat ourselves up? To criticise ourselves, to judge ourselves, to tell ourselves off?

Why are we so eager to cut down on sleep, to take on extra responsibilities, to push ourselves into exhaustion?

I LOVE jumping in at the deep end and pushing past boundaries and self employment brought me so many!  New challenges, new projects, new skills to learn. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Whipping myself to carry on and do even more.

Well, yes. [Read more →]

Wishing you a very happy Christmas day.

I hope you have time to rest and recuperate over the holidays.

Rosalyn

I have been chatting to Red magazine about strengths or positive qualities. And how concentrating on our strengths increases self confidence.

Often schools and job appraisals focus on our weakest areas and where we need to improve, not on our strongest areas. Yet, often we would need to put in a significant effort to raise a weakness to a mediocre level and get disheartened in the process. Whereas putting in the same effort to an area of strength can raise a strength to an expertise. [Read more →]

Confidence
is a little voice
in the back of your head
that tells you
you belong.

~ Michael Gervais

I’ve been inspired to offer something to fund raise for a 18 year old girl Danielle and her gap year volunteering. I am offering  coaching sessions to those who make a charitable donation to Danielle’s fundraising for her trip to Chile. [Read more →]

Fruit drops from the tree when it is ready.
Staying too long,
or moving too early,
misses the mark. [Read more →]

For last year’s words belong to last year’s language.

And next year’s words await another voice.

And to make an end is to
make a beginning. ~T.S. Eliot

I want to share this John O’Donoghue poem with you. For all those stepping into new places…

For a New Beginning

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge. [Read more →]

Do you hear a little voice telling you that you’re not [...] enough or that you’re not [...] enough?

CREDIT: “I am enough” necklace – available from http://t.co/PcZXdSE

Ever considered that it is a  lie?

What if you ARE enough? [Read more →]

Happy Christmas! Here’s a short video of a
‘digital nativity’ for all you social media fans. Rosalyn

When no is truly better for you
it’s better for everyone else.

~ Kim Allen

So now what?

I’ve realised I lack self confidence, so now what?

Clients (and strangers) ask me this. I wonder if they hope that I have a pink pill, or even a hypodermic syringe. Some magic and instant solution. [Read more →]

To achieve or not to achieve, that is the question.

I recently received a newsletter from my therapist friend Bonnie Miller, with article ‘The Happiness of Non-Achievement’. Now, if you were my client you’d know I encourage celebrating achievements. Writing a list of them even. A long list. Keeping it. Referring back to it.

And here is Bonnie celebrating non-achievement. [Read more →]

I’ve been working with Striding Out and some inspiring young people recently – here’s a video about it.

http://youtu.be/sdMRA0JPqsk

Contact me if you’d like to know more about the work I’m doing with Striding Out.

I’m speaking at this year’s Greenbelt Festival.

If you’re at Greenbelt, come and join my Self Confidence for women workshop.

See you there!

UPDATE: I spoke at Greenbelt and 137 women explored self confidence and discussed how to say “No”. I’m in touch with a number of them. It was wonderful to discuss the difference between working out what others expect of us (particularly bosses and adult children) and what we actually want to give. What are our boundaries?

Success is not a destination,
it’s a journey.

~ John Wooden