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“You can only become truly accomplished at something you love. Don’t make money your goal. Instead pursue the things you love doing and then do them so well that people can’t take their eyes off of you.”
Maya Angelou speaks such wisdom here. Pursuing the things you love doing.
I have noticed with many clients that they spend so much time pleasing everyone else that they almost don’t know what they love doing. They have lost touch with themselves. That is why our first discovery session is so important – time to explore what really matters to them. This is foundational for all the work we then do, be it career-focused or life-focused.
Over to you
What are you pursuing? What are your thoughts on this? Leave your thoughts below.
I’ve just read the advice Mike Rowe (Discovery Channel) gave to someone who wanted a career that would always keep him happy. And change and excitement and steady pay.
Mike told him:
‘Stop looking for the “right” career, and start looking for a job. Any job. Forget about what you like. Focus on what’s available. Get yourself hired. Show up early. Stay late. Volunteer for the scut work. Become indispensable. You can always quit later, and be no worse off than you are today. But don’t waste another year looking for a career that doesn’t exist. And most of all, stop worrying about your happiness. Happiness does not come from a job. It comes from knowing what you truly value, and behaving in a way that’s consistent with those beliefs.
Many people today resent the suggestion that they’re in charge of the way the feel. But trust me, Parker. Those people are mistaken. What you do, who you’re with, and how you feel about the world around you, is completely up to you.’
My client wrote this beautiful piece after an epiphany and has kindly agreed I can share it with you.
I reject the pressure to succeed in any conventional way,
I reject the arrogance that says I must stand out from the crowd,
I reject the doctrine that I must wear make up, dress well, stay young, slim and beautiful.
I reject the assertion that I should be happy.
I reject Facebook.
I reject my own pressures to be a good worker, student, friend, lover, daughter, hostess, person. Continue reading
Another way of recording thankfulness – post a photo of a happy time with tag #happinessday to Facebook, Twitter or Instagram. And check out other people’s happy days here
Burned out? Under pressure? Charlie Hoehn felt the same.
“This pressure I felt to make it was such a burden–until I realized that no level of success was ever going to be enough. I would always be chasing the world outside of me. What was the point of working so hard if it wasn’t for my own happiness? The solution became very clear: stop doing work that doesn’t matter to you.”
When I tackle work with a sense of play
Charlie Hoehn realised that many of his work heroes tackled work with a sense of play.
“When I tackle work with a sense of play, my creativity and optimism soar. I fall in love with the process. My energy becomes contagious, and I’m able to create unique art with the people around me.” Continue reading
She and I had been working through the Firework career coaching process I use. She was comfortable at the early stages, identifying strengths, thinking about interests and skills. And then, as we were narrowing down ideas, designing career spectrums, she got stuck. This beautiful, creative woman was unable to think, her mind went blank. She was so scared of taking the next step her mind had seized up.
It made sense. It was a big moment. We used a tool for lifting fear that I have been sharing with clients, a simple breathing tool that is gentle yet effective. This released her to think creatively again.
Within 10 minutes she said “This is what I want to do” Continue reading
‘You’ve got to make
a conscious choice
to shed the old —
whatever “the old” means for you.’
~ Sara Ban Breathnach
I posted this article back in 2008. At that time, there was great uncertainty about the economic climate. Not much has changed. I think maybe we have got used to uncertainty. The gap between the haves and the have-nots seems to have increased. Those who are working often feel they ‘should’ be grateful, they ‘should’ be happy. Yet they often are not happy.
Companies have cut the workforce so fewer employees are doing more work. And expected not to grumble. With less time with children, more ready meals, less time enjoying friends, more stress-related illness – many are asking is this job worth it?
Are you happy in your job?
I’m reposting this article for those who are asking if they are happy in their job. For those who already know the answer is “No”, fill in the form to contact me and let’s chat about working out what would really float your boat. Continue reading
Silence and solitude. Silence and solitude.
Do we leave enough silence and solitude around ourselves? Continue reading
I’ve had a few knock backs recently and am surprised how easy it is to slip down into self doubt. I was going along well, involved in some workshops for job clubs that I’m really excited about then BAM!
It can feel like it just came out of the blue. And then if I think a little and look back I can usually see a familiar pattern. Over committing, eating badly, not enough sleep and then something relatively minor can have a devastating effect.
Do you relate to this? Continue reading
Just say “No!”
Do you remember that Grange Hill song? Maybe not, maybe before your time!
The older I get the more important I think this is. Just say “No!” Saying No to the things (and people) that drain you, to the requests that burden you, to the emotional blackmail from your mother. (Just to clarify, not talking about my mother here).
Learning to say “No” is crucial for looking after yourself. And learning to say “No” is crucial for building self confidence. Failing to say “No” can damage your health, your marriage, your relationships, your career.
This is a light hearted look at 25 badass ways to say No from justinemusk.com (you might need to zoom to read them more closely).
Giving thanks right now for my orange bedroom curtains, made by my dear mother from shalwar kameez fabric from Birmingham’s Stratford Road. Thankful for fresh coffee and cake. And thankful for two texts from dear friends suggesting meeting up.
Thankful for my life right now. Thankful in the moment, in the present.
‘Do you treat yourself as well as you treat your friends and family?
That simple question is the basis for a burgeoning new area of psychological research called self-compassion — how kindly people view themselves. People who find it easy to be supportive and understanding to others, it turns out, often score surprisingly low on self-compassion tests, berating themselves for perceived failures like being overweight or not exercising.’
This is the beginning of a New York Times article on self compassion. Continue reading
‘resurrection says that what we do with our lives matters
in this body
the one that we inhabit right now
every act of compassion matters
every work of art that celebrates the good and the true matters
every fair and honest act of business and trade
every kind word
they all belong and they will all go on in God’s good world
nothing will be forgotten
nothing will be wasted
it all has it’s place’
This is an extract from Resurrection by Rob Bell, whole poem below. I love that line ‘what we do with our lives matters’.
The easiest thing to be in the world is you.
The most difficult thing to be is what other people want you to be. Don’t let them put you in that position.
– Leo Buscaglia
What are your thoughts when you read this quotation?
I find myself arguing with ‘the easiest thing’. Continue reading
Why are we so quick to beat ourselves up? To criticise ourselves, to judge ourselves, to tell ourselves off?
Why are we so eager to cut down on sleep, to take on extra responsibilities, to push ourselves into exhaustion?
I LOVE jumping in at the deep end and pushing past boundaries and self employment brought me so many! New challenges, new projects, new skills to learn. “Feel the fear and do it anyway.” Whipping myself to carry on and do even more.
Well, yes. Continue reading